Saying no is so hard.
I hate saying no. It makes me feel icky and harsh. I especially hate saying no when, for the last two weeks, I have been listening to Tina Fey's 'Bossy Pants' and Amy Poehler's 'Yes, Please' and both of them discuss the idea of saying "Yes, and..." and how it can change your life for the better.
But I have to say it. And I have to say it now. Because if I don't, I can't say yes to what has become a never-ending thought in the back of my mind. What if Burned-In Teacher was more than just a blog? I want so badly to say yes, but I haven't. I haven't for many reasons, but it boils down to one simple word: TIME.
Since I left the Google Innovator Academy, ready for anything, I have done nothing. I haven't touched my project and I haven't reached out to other Innovators who said that they would help me. I haven't said yes once, to any part of what I was so psyched about two weeks ago. That academy changed me, but am I proving it? Have I done anything to prove how serious I am about my passion? Nope.
I am the first to admit that I have stretched myself too thin over the last year. Balancing teaching, BiT, being a mom and wife, and taking care of my home has taken its toll on me. I am back at school, sick already, and am feeling that pit in my stomach that can only be filled if I would leave my family and friends, hole up somewhere with wifi and my computer, and just work. That's obviously both unrealistic and unfair to everyone involved.
Therefore, I am going to say no to a couple of things that I like, in order to say YES to something new that I can't stop thinking about. I am going to be pausing, yes PAUSING, the blog for a while. I plan on coming back when I can be more focused and have something more solid to offer educators just like me who need a voice in this noisy profession.
I appreciate those of you who have been dedicated readers for the past year. Thank you so much for the emails and texts telling me how much you appreciate my honesty and the honesty of the teachers who I have interviewed. They have changed my perspective and have caused me to realize how truly difficult our profession is. I now know that I am not alone and that there are thousands like us out there, wondering what they should do about how they are feeling and living.
So, burn on, my friends. I am excited for what's to come, although I don't know how long it will take or exactly what it will look like.